Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
