Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
