ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
