I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
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Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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