Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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