If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
