I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Let's get the cat blown out
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize