Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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