Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
