never play flip cup with pint glasses
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I need to align my fucking chakras
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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