Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
