i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
