Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
