absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
