I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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