i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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