did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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