Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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