I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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