I love black thongs
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
