On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Will exercising make me less horny?
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