Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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