Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
