Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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