return my video game
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
