Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
