my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
