Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Operation Purity has been aborted
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
