he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
