It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
