I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
