Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
