Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
