I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
