Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
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