smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
