i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
sex in a hospital.. check
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
