Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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