They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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