She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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