Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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