Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
