I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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