You're completely useless in the revolution.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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