you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
