Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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