better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize