Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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