Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
