He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
