brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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