Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
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She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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