I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
