hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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