I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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