That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
