don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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