Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
