okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
