This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
