There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize