ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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