Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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