I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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