My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...