Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  well I can't set my house on fire every night

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  (248): well I can't set my house on fire every night http://tfl.nu/iwc7
  Replies (3) Good night (1479) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.

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  (518): Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/f3k6
  Replies (14) Good night (2530) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.

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  (805): all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl. http://tfl.nu/c5of
  Replies (14) Good night (791) Bad night (3959) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"

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  (613): I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!" http://tfl.nu/plpd
  Replies (11) Good night (5210) Bad night (1072) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  dont u have athletes foot?

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  (214): so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings (1-214): dont u have athletes foot? http://tfl.nu/a028
  Replies (27) Good night (1070) Bad night (5552) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today

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  (603): It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today http://tfl.nu/pqk1
  Replies (10) Good night (4169) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.

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  (925): Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab. http://tfl.nu/xv4n
  Replies (19) Good night (4934) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...

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  (480): It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless... http://tfl.nu/qugn
  Replies (8) Good night (1886) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.

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  (905): Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are. http://tfl.nu/m18s
  Replies (2) Good night (2976) Bad night (704)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes

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  (519): If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes http://tfl.nu/ayyp
  Replies (29) Good night (3977) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.

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  (44): You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday. http://tfl.nu/tfp1
  Replies (3) Good night (1110) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.

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  (541): I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that. http://tfl.nu/zm0m
  Replies (3) Good night (1293) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.

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  (314): your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning. http://tfl.nu/cyj6
  Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake

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  (815): I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake http://tfl.nu/t4t1
  Replies (4) Good night (916) Bad night (224) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating

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  (563): I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating http://tfl.nu/zdvr
  Replies (2) Good night (473) Bad night (156) Order T-Shirt

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