So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
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I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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